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Patience Is One Key To Success

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There are many keys to success, and patience is one of them.

But people want everything to happen in an instant. If we walk in a building and the Wi-Fi isn’t super fast, we get annoyed. If our text message or Snapchat takes longer than two seconds to send, we become frustrated and impatient.

The point is that our culture expects results right away. And our surrounding gadgets, systems, and services are only moving quicker to meet our expectations.

For example, restaurants like Chipotle, McDonald’s and Taco Bell are testing a delivery system, so the customer can get their food as quick and convenient as possible. Amazon is testing delivery drones to expedite transportation time. If attainable, we wish our order would arrive the nanosecond after we click purchase.

While I’m all for convenience and efficiency, I believe this habit of expecting instant results is dangerous for our future. In wanting everything to happen instantly, we lose patience to hold out for more-fulfilling opportunities and dreams.

Let me explain why patience is the key.

Why Impatience Is Dangerous

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When we get instant results and convenience in some parts of our life, then we expect other areas of our life to work just as quick and easy. But, this mindset causes problems when something doesn’t happen as we plan it. It also is dangerous when we don’t take a task on because it seems too difficult, or appears too long to complete.

First, if something happens outside of our control, then we commonly create unnecessary stress for ourselves and lose mental focus.

For example, take the scenario where we plan on getting to work at 8:00am, but traffic is slow and causes us to arrive late. An impatient person may allow the negativity of traffic to carry over as they act rude to their co-workers and disrupt their concentration all morning. One external disruption and they can’t act or think straight.

Also, if a task appears to be too difficult or long to finish, then we usually choose not to do it because of our desire for instant results. So we regularly settle for the shorter and more convenient path.

For example, many people don’t consider careers that require grad school because they don’t want to go through the extra years of schooling. I’m confident that thousands of people who would be excellent doctors, lawyers, dentists, and other professions miss out on a fulfilling and satisfying career because of a short-term mindset against more education. It’s a shame.

For another example, many people say they want to be rich. But, they’re unwilling to take the necessary steps to obtain wealth, because they aren’t patient. These same people say investing in the stock market “takes too long.” They would rather spend their money shopping to feel the immediate happiness of buying something new (which goes away pretty soon after the purchase). Or their impatience gives them over to the get-rich-quick schemes that never work.

There’s a better solution to success in life, and it’s called being patient.

Patience Is Key To Satisfaction

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As I wrote in the post Why Talent Is Overrated, the super successful people (in any field) push through the difficult work, and do it for 10-plus years. Meaning these excellent performers have the patience to get better each day, week, year, and decade. They wouldn’t achieve their success if they were too impatient to practice their craft.

Also, controlling your psychological state for patience gives you more opportunities. A patient person will have more time to consider different solutions to the assignment, contact people who can possibly help, and put in a better effort for a higher-quality result.

In contrast, if you’re impatient, you’re more likely to do the least amount of work just to be finished. Or you might complete a project how it’s always been done, not spending anytime to consider more creative and efficient operations.

From my experiences using patience, the end result is almost always better and more personally satisfying.

How To Practice Patience

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Since impatience comes from being upset things aren’t going how you want or how quick you want them to, it’s all ‘I’ focused. Change your perspective to practice patience by thinking about the subjects around you. Consider the other people involved, or the moving parts that require time to come together.

Back to our traffic example, think about how everyone else needs to get to work on time and they’re probably frustrated, too. By thinking of other people, you get away from only thinking about yourself and your lack of control.

Or for our grad school example, look at more schooling as the required step to enjoy the rest of your professional career. And for our get-rich example, have the perspective that you’re investing in your future and it takes time for your compound interest to add up. If it was easy and quick, everyone would be wealthy.

Another great way to practice patience is to travel. From trying to understand a different language, culture, and worldview, you’re bound to be more humble and patient after spending time abroad.

Lastly, practice patience by making yourself wait.

This may look like delaying dinner until you work out. Waiting to buy new shoes until you have $1,000 in an emergency fund. Or passing on your dream car at age 30 so you have something to look forward to when you’re older.

Get creative with this and you’ll soon develop more opportunities to be patient than you thought possible.

I’m confident practicing patience will improve your personal and professional life. Give it a try.

Related: What Is Success?

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Personal Development

10 Unusual Lessons Fictional Losers Can Teach You

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You’ve probably watched hundreds of movies and TV shows because it’s a great means of entertainment and also an easy way to learn new things about love, friendship, or life in general. But here is one important fact – we all tend to focus on protagonists and successful characters.

However, fictional losers can also make us laugh or encourage and inspire us to get over our everyday problems. Such characters can be just as meaningful and impressive as the good guy role, so I can’t help but wonder – what are the best things we can learn from antagonists?

In this post, I will show you 10 unusual lessons fictional losers can teach you. Let’s check them out here!

1. Tyrion Lannister – Game of Thrones

You must know Tyrion Lannister, the little man from “Game of Thrones”. It turns out he is a clever guy who taught everybody to “accept yourself the way you are”. Here is what Tyrion said: “Never forget what you are, for surely the world will not. Make it your strength. Then it can never be your weakness. Armor yourself in it, and it will never be used to hurt you”. This is very important for a business leader because you need to accept yourself before learning how to handle teams of professionals.

2. Claudia Donovan – Warehouse 13

Claudia Donovan was one of the lead antagonists in the “Warehouse 13” TV series. She is a computer hacker and inventor who definitely knows a thing or two about life. Claudia teaches us to “embrace the people around you and to remember them when they leave”. In other words, you can learn a lot from colleagues around you, so pay attention to what they have to say.

3. Julianne – My Best Friend’s Wedding

Julianne is the eventual loser in a comedy entitles “My Best Friend’s Wedding”. Julianne realized that she was in love with her best friend Michael just a few days before his wedding. She didn’t want to give up on her true love, so she tried everything to win over Michael. Although she failed to do so, Julianne told us how to fight for what we really want: “This is my one chance at happiness. I have to be ruthless!” Just like Julianne, you have to be completely focused on your business objective if you want to reach it.

4. Joker –Batman

Heath Ledger is by far the best Joker in the “Batman” franchise, which means he really made an impression on spectators. Joker taught us a bunch of wonderful lessons, but I left only a few highlights that might as well serve as instructions for entrepreneurs:

  • People are not always what they seem to be. To know them better, have a closer look at them.
  • Sometimes things don’t necessarily go according to how we planned them. Therefore, always have a plan B.
  • Anger, if not controlled, can destroy you. So it’s better to cool down & smile as often as you can. Why so serious?

5. Holden Caulfield – The Catcher in the Rye

One of the modern literature’s classics, “The Catcher in the Rye” introduced an iconic loser Holden Caulfield. Entire generations of readers recognized themselves in Holden because he was always frustrated and miserable. Much of his anger comes from dating and lost love, so it’s easy to figure out why we can understand Holden. In its essence, the novel told us that at least we are not alone in our frustrations both inside and outside of the business world.

6. Ron Weasley – Harry Potter

Ron Weasley has always been a good boy, but never the one that actually makes the difference in “Harry Potter”. It doesn’t mean, however, that we don’t have anything to learn from Ron. On the contrary, he is the kid who told us that “sometimes in the worst situation all you need is to laugh”. So when you found yourself stuck with a problem that seems impossible to solve, you should take your time, relax, and the new idea will come to your mind sooner or later.

7. Kaz Brekker – Six of Crows

Kaz Brekker is the gang leader in “Six of Crows” who would do anything to earn a lot of money. Besides that, he is a cold-hearted and ruthless liar. However, it doesn’t mean that Kaz is stupid. As the matter of fact, he was perfectly clear about one thing: “A little lie never hurt anyone … much”. This is an essence of entrepreneurship as you sometimes have to bend the truth in order to seal the deal.

8. Regina Mills – Once Upon a Time

Regina Mills used to be an Evil Queen on ABC’s “Once Upon a Time”. Her heart was darkened by power and corruption, but she found a great way to justify certain actions. Namely, Regina taught us that “there is no such thing as good or evil because life is never that simple”. Things can definitely get blurry in business as well, so you won’t always be sure what is right and what is wrong.

9. Walter White – Breaking Bad

Walter White was a talented chemist who couldn’t find his luck as an average guy, so he turned to drug production and dealership. As the series progressed, Walter realized there is nothing more important than being passionate about what you do. His famous quote is: “I did it for me. I liked it. I was good at it. And I was really … I was alive”. This is what you should do, too. Choose jobs that suit your skills and preferences and you’ll make a wonderful career.

10. Robert Jordan – For Whom the Bell Tolls

Robert Jordan is an American volunteer for the Republican side in the Spanish Civil War and the protagonist of “For Whom the Bell Tolls”. Although he died, Robert taught us that it’s not the worst thing that could happen. In this novel, Robert famously stated that he was not frightened of dying but “only of not doing my duty as I should”. Duty is sacred, so make sure to fulfill your plans as a professional.

CONCLUSION

Although people tend to focus on good guys in movies, TV shows, or novels, the truth is that a lot of antagonists or even villains teach us some much more important life lessons. In this post, I showed you 10 unusual lessons you can learn from fictional losers.

Did you like my choices? Do you have other interesting suggestions to share with your peers? Feel free to let us know in comments and we’ll be glad to discuss it together!

About author: Olivia is an incurable optimist who always sees the glass as half-full. She likes nature, knows how to enjoy silence and is keen on writing for various websites as well as for Aussie writing service. Meet her on Facebook and Twitter.

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Personal Development

Keeping Your New Year’s Resolutions

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With 2018 now underway, many of us have turned our attention toward New Year’s resolutions. Some take this more seriously than others, but we can all agree that it’s nice to take a fresh year as an opportunity for self-improvement.

You might have a goal of losing 20 pounds, reading a book every month, spending more time with family, or any number of other things. But the New Year, and the traditions of resolutions, gives you a chance to really focus on how to turn that goal from a hope or a plan into a reality.

We’ve gathered a few nice tips from various pieces on psychology and motivation that will help you succeed and complete your New Year’s resolutions.

Repeat The Resolution Daily

This is a fascinating tip – about as simple as they come and yet one we’d never thought of before (and we’re betting most others haven’t thought of either). It was recommended in an article putting forth six secrets of people who actually keep their New Year’s resolutions, and came from a rabbi named Shlomo Zalman Bregman.

The rabbi believes he was successful with his resolution (which was to engage more with his social media and website users) because each morning he wrote the goal down again.

As he put it, it’s not enough to simply make a mental note or write down a goal at the beginning of the year.

Doing it this way keeps the goal fresh, making it a daily effort as opposed to a vague ideal.

Seek Accountability

This is another tip from the same article just cited, and comes from a businesswoman names Jennifer Snyder.

Snyder discussed the idea of weekly meetings with other business leaders in which they’d go over weekly goals; she also mentioned the idea of holding herself accountable via quarterly check-ins. These are great ideas for someone with the discipline to hold him or herself accountable – but you could also take the idea of seeking accountability further by allowing others to help you.

Find a family member or friend who will check in with you about your goals, or even try to meet them with you. This way you’ll be accountable not just to yourself whenever you decide to take stock of your progress, but to someone else as well.

Learn Emotional Discipline

We’re borrowing this idea specifically from an article about the psychology of poker players, though it’s certainly more broadly applicable as well. The article discusses the idea of using meditation and breathing exercises (like Star Trek’s Mr. Spock, as it says) to learn how to keep emotion in check.

It’s easy to see how this might help in poker, but the truth is it can benefit you significantly in any experience that induces stress, or even just doubt.

When you’re struggling to reach a goal that’s part of your resolution, or when you think it might be easier to give up, practiced emotional discipline can keep you on track. You can learn to take deep breaths or even try yoga techniques to center yourself, calm your mind, and refocus your energies.

Give Yourself Rewards

A lot of New Year’s resolutions focus on one vague or overarching goal. Thus, it can be a little bit difficult to track progress toward that goal.

However, you should try to do just that, so that you can give yourself little rewards along the way.

One good idea is to focus on rewards that have nothing to do with the actual resolution. So for instance if you’re trying to lose weight, don’t treat yourself to a pizza after you’ve had a productive week. Pizza isn’t a bad idea though if you’re measuring progress toward a goal that has nothing to do with fitness or health.

Otherwise, just focus on something innocent and indulgent that you like, such as buying yourself a massage after a month or so of good progress.

Evaluate Yourself Honestly

This isn’t a complicated idea necessarily, but we actually got it from an article on the psychology of persistence in golf. Specifically the tip was to evaluate your performance honestly so as to improve weaker areas.

It’s easy to imagine this approach with golf, but really it could apply to just about any kind of New Year’s resolution.

For instance, if your goal is to lose weight or follow a healthier diet plan, and you’ve cheated once or twice over the course of the week, don’t block out the fact that you weren’t as diligent as you could have been.

Instead, recognize the issue, evaluate your progress honestly, and try to find ways to avoid similar slip-ups in the future.

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Personal Development

How To Set Goals You Can Actually Achieve

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A lot people ask me how to set goals. But they should be asking how to set goals and make sure they can achieve them.

Otherwise it’s all for loss. Think about it: a goal set is only meaningful if it’s completed.

Ever hear the phrase “talk is cheap”? It’s often rightfully directed toward people claiming big goals without backing them up. That’s weak sauce. You don’t want to be a part of that group.

What’s going to make you most happy and fulfilled this year is if you clearly define your goals and then work your face off to make them a reality.

That’s the only way. There are no shortcuts that allow you to win without being disciplined, committed, and focused. Sorry, I’m not sorry.

And if we can learn how to set goals you can actually achieve, then we’re onto something big for every consecutive year for the rest of your life. That’s world changing information, if executed properly.

Here’s the two-step-method for how you set goals and make sure you follow through to accomplish them.

Step 1 – Specifically Define Your Goals

There’s no objective to complete if you first don’t know the overall mission. So Step 1 is to clearly define your goals.

Don’t give me any generic, stupid answers like, “I want to be smarter,” “I want to get bigger,” or, “I want to do good at work.” That’s a lazy thought, not a goal.

A good goal is something super specific and numerical that you can hang your hat on every morning and night, knowing the exact task at hand.

I’ll go first to show you what specific goal setting looks like. Here are my three goals for 2018:

    1. Grow Robben Media to $250,000 in revenue
    2. Make $250,000 in personal income
    3. Work out 4 to 5 times a week

You can read more about my goals in this BrianRobben.com article, but do you see what I mean?

All three of my 2018 goals have numbers attached to them. And by the end of December I’ll have a clear baseline to determine if I succeeded or failed in my mission. There’s no gray area, and you don’t want any.

What are your three goals for this year? You see I have mine in a career, money, and health bucket. I recommend most people do the same. And three is a nice number because it’s not too many to keep track of or too little to make a big difference.

Stop reading this for a second, you can come back to it, and go write down three specific goals. You got this!

Again, just knowing our goals won’t do anything for me or you. Step 2 is what most people don’t complete and that sets them up for total failure.

You must do this next step, or else.

Step 2 – Define How You’ll Achieve Them

You have your goals written down? Excellent.

Here’s where you separate yourself from the pack to help yourself wake up every day and attack your goals, instead of procrastinating like a loser.

For Step 2, you must define how you’re going to achieve your goals.

By that I mean you need to go reflect and consider all of the individual steps or changes in routine needed to complete your goals.

For example, if your goal is to lose 20 pounds this year, don’t leave it at that. Instead have answers for:

  • How many times a week am I going to work out?
  • Where am I going to work out?
  • What time of day? Before work, at lunch, at night?
  • With who? A friend? A personal trainer?
  • How am I going to meal prep? When am I going to meal prep?
  • How am I going to drink more water?
  • How do I stay away from emotional eating? Do I get one cheat meal?
  • Who is going to hold me accountable besides myself?
  • What’s my motivation and reward for accomplishing this goal?

If it helps you, think of Step 1 as the overall mission, and Step 2 as the individual objectives that if accomplished will complete the mission. They go hand in hand.

This works because you give your brain a roadmap to accomplish your goals before you even get started. It also inspires confidence and belief in yourself that you can do these mini-tasks, and if so, you’ll accomplish your main goal.

That’s powerful! Trust me.

Again, I’ll set an example by defining my goals, but this time you’ll see a quick solution with each one of how it’s going to get done:

    • Grow Robben Media to $250,000 in revenue
      • Keep doing what we’ve been doing, sign bigger clients with larger retainers, land software deals, increase pricing
    • Make $250,000 in personal income
      • Make Robben Media as much money as possible so more comes to me, continue growing my personal brand, invest money into cryptocurrencies and stocks but don’t save much money
    • Work out 4 to 5 times a week
      • Work out during lunch, when I have the energy, instead of at night when I’m exhausted from a long day of work

Now set aside time to take your list of goals and one by one define how you’re going to complete them. You can do this.

Setting Goals Wrap Up

The new year stands before us, like a chapter in a book, waiting to be written. We can help write that story by setting goals. – Melody Beattie

Going off on Melody’s theme, you get to write your story for 2018 and your entire life’s story. Take advantage of this!

Set ambitious goals. Take crazy action. Be patient. And never give up.

Even if you’re not dealt a perfect hand in life—no one is—it’s all about your mindset and making the most of it every single day.

I’m choosing to chase my goals and write the best life possible for myself.

What do you say? How’s your story going to go? Set goals, accomplish them, and then live in the truth that you’ve done all you could to improve your life. That’s what peace looks like.

Related:

18 Things I Wish Someone Would Have Told Me When I Was 18

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